Drained.

Feeling pretty empty and drained today. Tough run last night at training. Was very good though. Ran it out reasonably well and considering I'd been split off into a group of mainly more senior players felt I did ok. It was obvious I wasn't quite there but didn't disgrace myself I don't think.

As a result of pushing myself constantly throughout the entire night I'm left today with an overwhelming sense of tiredness and emptiness. Which is a good thing as it means I did push myself as much as I thought I did. And that's the lesson I have learnt through last year and this year so far... it's not necessarily about making sure you do everything 100% fully and correctly when measured against everyone else. It's all about ensuring that you are constantly pushing yourself and getting the most that you can get out of it for your, and therefore ultimately the team's, benefit.

Everyone is at a different stage in their fitness regime for the year, some are just starting out, some are already well ahead of you and it's pointless to judge yourself too harshly against other people's performances but get what you can out of it to make yourself better. Sure I recognise that measuring yourself against others is a necessary part of figuring out where you fit in under the pecking order of the club but all I'm suggesting is not to attack yourself for where you stand but put your head down, work your butt off and try to improve it.

Hopefully with my efforts last year and how fit I feel right now I've managed to improve my standing in the pecking order to the point where I can be considered for Reserve grade selection regularly this year. I've seen a few signs that this might be the case but I'm not yet convinced so I will continue to do everything I can to ensure that I give myself every chance. Ultimately that is all I can do and nights like last night where it was, hopefully, obvious to others how hard I was pushing myself paints you in a favorable light when things get considered.